A trip into Space! Narrative Writing!

Kia Ora. Haere mai. This term we had to write a narrative on the future. My one is called A trip into Space. Here is the introduction. 

“John! Jake! Billy! Do you read me over!” shouted Commander Ross, “John! Billy! Jake!” 

“We read you loud and clear commander,” Jake, the captain of the mission, spook through the mask to Nasa, “But why the moon first?”

“Doesn’t matter. Don’t mess around. We need evidence that aliens live on other planets. People that are homeless are at stake here,” called Commander Ross. 

“Yeah we know Ross,” John said. 

“IT’S COMMANDER ROSS TO YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH! AND DON’T YOU DARE BE RUDE LIKE THAT TO ME!” screamed Commander Ross. 

“All right let’s split up but attach your lines to the ship just incase one of us gets flung into deep space OK?” said Billy. 

“Affirmative,” said Jake and John. They all walked over to the ship and clipped a cable from their suit belts to the hooks on the ship. They each walked of into a different direction.

What do you think of it? If you want to read the whole thing ask me in the comments. Otherwise. Have you had to write a narrative like this? Tell me in the comments. Goodbye.